Everything is complicated if you're dumb.

Caller: I can't get into my account.
Me: Ok Ma'am, may I have the email you use with your _______ Account?
Caller: You guys didn't give me one.
Me: ... Lady what is your email address?
Caller: Well, mine is _________@aol.com
Me: *hears aol.com and internally screams* Thank you.
*looks at her account and sees that she has not logged in recently*
Me: Ok. Let's try this, I want you to open up an internet browser...
Caller: I don't have the internet here.
Me:...ooook. Are you using an app?
Caller: Oh no. I dont know how to use those things. 
Me: How exactly are you trying to access your account?
Caller: I open up Google, and I type it in, but nothing happens. 
Me: Well you need the internet...
Caller: You people make this too complicated.
Me: *wonders if I have enough internet cable here to hang myself*

Lesson 4-  Have patience with those helping you, like you want those helping you to have patience with you.