Lesson 10- Don't be a dumbass. 

Lesson 9 - No matter how important you think you are, there is someone who just doesn't give a shit. We talk to dozens of people a day. The majority of them are business owners and people who consider themselves big time or whatever. Here is the thing, you want to quickly lose the prestige you've worked so hard to get? Show that you're not that smart by trying to be cocky. You no longer seem important, you just seem like a jerk. 

Lesson 7 - LISTEN. Active listening works so much better when both parties do it. Let me hear me, hear you, hear me, hearing you. 

Me: I need you to look in the back of the computer marked "Lenovo Thinkcentre" and remove the internet cable. It is a cord that looks like a thick phone cord, it has a tab that you have to push down to pull it out, and it should have an orange flashing light right beside it."

Caller: You mean the box?

Me: Pardon?

Caller: The computer box?

Me: Yes. The small, black, Lenovo computer with ThinkCentre engraved on it in white letters, with the cords from the keyboard, monitor and printer going into it.
Caller: Which one is it?
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Me:

Lesson 6: Technology can be daunting. Keep a cool head and remember, you made it to however old you are because you have the ability to think. Help us all out and use that power.

Me: Thank you for calling _____, may I begin by having your name please?
Caller: You don't need to know my name.
Me: Did I ask your name?
Caller: Yes, but you don't need to know it. What the **** is your problem.
Me: I'm sorry, but this is _______ Tech Support, not the shadowy drug deal hotline. I need a name.
Caller: Put your supervisor on the line.
Me: Can't.
Caller: Why can't you?
Me: We only transfer people with names. You sound like a Jack though. Might your name be Jack, mysterious caller?
Caller: *hangs up*

Lesson 5 - Give up the info. Nobody likes dark and mysterious these days. It's rude and just plain creepy. Plus, if you don't let us do our job... we can't do our job. 

Lesson 4-  Have patience with those helping you, like you want those helping you to have patience with you.

Lesson 3 - Many Techs have to work even on holidays. They have loved ones too. If you're calling for tech support on a holiday, you're already kind of a douche. Don't be a mean douche. 

Lesson 2 - Get your emotions in formation. Techs are there to help you, not be your punching bags.