So, I know I'm gonna get some push back, so I'm going to preface with this: This is how I feel, if you have a problem with it, you'll be alright.
I just got through watching this Jet Li movie called "Hero." This one part stood out to me. An assassin's wife was furious that he did not assassinate the emperor. He explained his reason, but she didn't agree. He explains that two things lived in his heart: his country and Her. She still didn't believe him, and demanded that he draw his sword and fight HER to prove his love. He spars with her a little, still holding back, but she is coming at him full tilt. She charges him again, and he lets go of his sword, allowing her to stab him in the heart. As he sits there dying, she begins asking "Why didn't you block? Why didn't you block?" He replies, "So you will believe." He then dies. She holds his body, crying out "You could have blocked!"
I'm watching this, and I'm like "Why the hell are you trying to stab him in the first damn place?" As I'm watching, I'm getting more and more upset, wondering "why do we force the people we love to let us harm them in order for us to believe that they care?"
There is this concept that people have of the "ride or die", and people think it's honorable. Men and women cheat on each other and abuse each other, and paint it as "if you cared, you would love me through the shit I put you through." On social media, we post hurtful shit about each other, and justify it by saying "if you're my ally, you will accept this, cause I'M hurting."
It doesn't matter what the relationship is: if I have to hurt for you to believe that I love you, the truth is that you don't love me. Stop measuring someone's devotion to you by the pain they allow you to inflict on them. No one should die at the hands of the ones the are riding for.